Let me just start by saying DON’T MAKE THESE!

Jesus, what a waste of effort.  In fact, these little buggers (get it?) are the perfect illustration for why Sugary As Fuck exists.  Nobody’s got time for this idiocy.

Except me, apparently.

I was at a baking supply store and found a candy mold in the shape of grasshoppers.  I love me a grasshopper cocktail, and I thought it would be really funny to make grasshopper chocolates in the shape of grasshoppers.   I have a childish sense of humor, what can I say?

I have to admit, they do taste pretty good.  Not good enough to justify all that work, though.

But here’s the thing – the white chocolate mint ganache in the middle is fucking DIVINE.  I’ll make something with the rest of it that won’t encourage you to shoot yourself in the head and post it here soon.

If you really want to make these, and I can’t imagine why you would, here’s how you do it.

Print Recipe
Grasshopper Chocolates
These chocolates are a total pain in the ass to make. It'll take you forever and you only end up with 8 chocolates. On the bright side, the white chocolate mint ganache is delectable. Just eat that, or get creative with it.
grasshopper chocolates
Course Dessert
Cuisine Waste of Time
Cook Time 3 hours
Servings
chocolates
Ingredients
Course Dessert
Cuisine Waste of Time
Cook Time 3 hours
Servings
chocolates
Ingredients
grasshopper chocolates
Instructions
  1. Roughly chop mint and place in a heat proof container. Smash the mint with a muddler or other implement to release more oils.
  2. Heat cream to a simmer (don't boil) and pour over the mint. Let steep for at least 20 minutes.
  3. Melt compound chocolate and pour into cavities in chocolate mold. TAP THE MOLD on the counter several times to remove air bubbles and make sure chocolate gets into all corners.
  4. Dump chocolate out of the mold onto some parchment paper so you can scrape it up and reuse. Scrape extra chocolate off the top of the mold to get clean edges. Let chocolate shells set in mold while you prepare the ganache.
  5. Chop white chocolate and place in a bowl.
  6. Strain mint out of cream and press solids to get all the liquid out. Heat cream to a simmer (don't boil) and pour over the white chocolate. Let sit for 2 minutes.
  7. Stir chocolate and cream together, starting in the center of the bowl, to form the smooth ganache.
  8. Add creme de menthe and 4 drops of peppermint oil (or to taste) to the ganache and stir. Let cool.
  9. Fill chocolate shells with ganache - do NOT overfill, you still need to add chocolate to the tops. and place in freezer for 15 minutes to harden a bit.
  10. Re-melt your leftover compound chocolate and cover the ganache centers with chocolate. Scrape excess chocolate from the mold and let the chocolate set.
  11. Unmold chocolates, neaten up any rough edges, and use a dry brush to gild chocolates with green or gold luster dust.
  12. Eat one and enjoy, but still be super pissed that you spent 3 hours making 8 fucking chocolates.
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